SELF LOVE JOURNEY❤️

A year or two ago I would not leave the house without makeup - forgetting that for years before I had done without it.

There was always something I did not like about myself, on occasions I would want to throw my whole flesh suit out! Starting with my face and the dark rings around my eyes (I’ve tried sleeping - if I sleep 10 or 2 hours it still looks the same - I swear I’ve tried it) I would try and buy any over the counter products or convince my mom to get them. My teeth had gaps and are big, let’s not get me started on my nose (smh). Then there was my body and how I was convinced when God was handing them out I stood right at the back of his line, then after the baby (which I miscarried) I would complain about my stomach rolls (Apparently I can’t keep myself happy).  I would not wear open toed shoes because I hated my feet (my cousins would joke my feet were throwing up gang signs HAHA).

These are things I battled with almost every day, when I had a moment I felt beautiful I appreciated it. The journey to finally start to love me was one where I had to leave my comfort zone of pity and not allowing outside opinions to influence the way I felt about myself. I started by being okay with walking around with less makeup and then just no makeup at all. For my feet - now I’ll walk barefeet or wear open toed shoes and if you don’t like them that’s okay! I go home with them not you (so how I feel about them matter). Becoming comfortable in my own skin was challenging in the beginning, I would wake up in the morning and would look in the mirror and immediately want to put makeup on because seeing my own face was not something I wanted to do (and I did not want to put anyone else through that). Knowing nothing about makeup or how to apply it (because you were being “old fashioned” if you wore makeup before your time and you were bound to get checked). I recall always feeling shy or ashamed for wearing eye pencil or mascara growing up always trying to avoid being called “ougat” (thank the pope for YouTube tutorials but back to it). Nothing I done physically made any lasting difference (once the makeup came off the whole cycle starts again) to how I felt and saw myself until I decided to honestly start loving myself. To see the things I have not liked and start to like them and eventually love them.

Being open to unlearning my idea of what beauty is was a challenging process (this is an on going process). Having to be open to the idea that what I know holds no truth. Understanding that commercial beauty is NOT the standard, understanding that each of us were created differently for a reason... that beauty does not have one face, criteria or certain physical characteristics. But that beauty is a state of mind, beauty comes from love, self love ❤️.

Love definitely does conquer all, but like beauty and EVERYTHING else our idea of love has been commercialized (but that is a WHOLE other blog!!) 

Starting off by saying simple affirmations, small simple phrases - “I love my eyes”, “I love my curly hair”, “I love the way my face looks today”. It was easy to say it, yet once I started meaning it was when I felt the change. No two days were the same and that is what made the process so amazing!!

I am still learning, the self love journey is not one you jump on and then jump off... it’s a journey. You continue to learn new things about yourself everyday, each new thing you learn to love - all in due time. On this journey you learn to be patient with yourself, to be kind to yourself and most of all to love everything about yourself! A journey you can start at any age, all it requires is an open mind and a willing being with a heart that desires to love truly 💚